Darko Durbic

(1987 - 2008)

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Memories

Shannon

I can't believe it has been over 3 years, and yet the memories I have of you are still so fresh.
Two memories stick out in my head: First was when you, Marc, Aimee and I made a random road trip to Toronto to go see a psychic after we saw a tarot card reader in the Concourse at Laurier. But, my all time favourite memory has to be when we had a prank war going on in first year between you & Marc and Aimee & I. It started off so innocently when Aimee and I poured water outside your front door so that it would freeze (upon second thought, not the safest prank). Then you guys put syrup in our lock and it froze and my key broke off in it (I was so mad).. But my all time favourite was when the shaving cream came into play- you and Marc ambushed us... Aimee ran for her life and I took one for the team.
I miss you Darks, Happy Birthday xo

Maggie rose

Not sure if my message was posted or not but if not I'll do it again. I just wanted to say that I can't believe how fast the time has gone. There's not a day that goes by where you're not on my mind. Part of me is still in disbelief of what happened but I know that in time I will come to terms with it. I miss your smile, your laugh, your energy. Even thought i see you in my dreams it just doesn't seem like it's enough. You were one of a kind and knew how to get a crowd going. We've had so many good times and never a bad moment. I will miss you and carry your inspiration with me until my last breath. You were a strong fighter, and for that I am so proud of you. I love you Darko, and I hope that your birthday is an amazing one. We're all missing you buddy, keep smiling :)
Peace, love.
xoxo

Giancarlo Santos

Darko, one of the most influential beings, a person can know. People always wonder why the good die young, but i believe it is to teach the rest of us that life is something more, and to realize what we have before it is too late. Sometimes people question why God might take someone away, but it is only because the greatest of people are chosen to teach the rest of us. Without these great sacrifices we would never question why things happen, and so Darko’s death has shown me to appreciate, and I hope it has helped others on their journey through this crazy life. I still think I have a strong relationship with Darko whether it is for help or just someone to talk to, and will continue it for the rest of my life; people can live for eternity within each other. One day I will meet you again my friend.

There is no single memory of Darko that I think of, it is more of his presence and inspiration he had on others, that I will never forget... well and Ping Pong of course...

mom/dad

Tekst pjesme koja je pred vama, nije nimalo jednostavan za citati, pa i onda kada ne znate kako je i zašto nastao. On u misli doziva sve tuge koje se u nama akumuliraju godinama, on nas sjeća na ljude koje smo izgubili, ali nam - u isto vrijeme - pomaže da svoju tugu pretočimo u glas, da je isplačemo i skupimo snagu za dalje. Ovaj tekst je napisala očajna majka koji je izgubila svog sina. Majka i otac, slomljeni bolom, svoje dane jedan za drugim žive, bez sjaja u očima, bez puno radosti pred sobom. Ponekad se čini da samo čekaju kada će se ponovo susresti sa svojim djetetom, tamo negdje, na nekom boljem mjestu. Riječi ove pjesme nisu ništa drugo do suze koje neutješno, svakodnevno padaju s njihovih lica.

Bol za izgubljenim djetetom je neopisiva i teško ju je i zamisliti. Ova pjesma je vapaj jednog, ali kao da je vapaj svih roditelja...

SINE MOJ

Tigujem....bolujem....proklinem sudbinu

Krijem istinu zlu.......od tebe.

A znam da u nocima,

prelijepim ocima

sjas medju zvijezdama.

Nespavam....nedisem

Svakoga dana ime ti pisem

Ime ti spominjem.

A tebe nema, ni sunca nema vise

Sve je pokrila tama i ledene kise

u srcu mom.

Moja dusa je prazna,

ovaj zivot je kazna bez tebe

SINE

Godine.........prolaze

Cvijece cvijeta, a nigdje ljeta,

nema ni proljeca.

U dahu vijetra, u rosi cvijeca

dusu ti osjecam.

Nespavam........nedisem

Teska tuga, kao kuga,

snove mi uzima.

A tebe nema, ni sunca nema vise

Sve je pokrila tama i ledene kise

u srcu mom.

Moja dusa je prazna,

ovaj zivot je kazna bez tebe

SINE

mom

November' 2011

Darko,When I get on line to read the remark's people write on your site, it tickles me inside! Makes me so very happy!!!!! you had and still have so many friend's and family that care about you and wish that you where back. Like Aimee I know she love's you with all her heart, still and will never fully get over you, you will always be in her heart as I know she is in yours. Or Marko your brother, he wishes so bad that you could be here so you can watch Milla grow up so she will know her Uncle Darko! But we all also know that you are watching us down here and knowing everything that goes on in our lives.

It still till this day Darko, feel's as though your on vacation, and I will see you walking in the door anytime. I still can't get over the fact that your gone, it's still to me impossible!!! To see us moving alone without you is horrible the world should just stand still because your gone. I havn't till this day used the "D" word, I always say "you have passed". Maybe If and when I do, I will then except that your ya know?

I have to keep my faith Darko, that someday I will see you again and be able to see you anytime I wont to. God I can't wait till that day.
I love you Darko with ever ounce of my breath, every thing inside of me. You and Marko (with yours dad) will always be the loves of my life. I think about you every second of the day and nights, that will never change.
Darko,Thank You so very very much for the dream you gave me last night. I asked and You gave! You knew how much I needed that.

It sure was nice to see your smiling face again, I have a smile on my face right now just thinking of it. I miss you sweetie and love you so much and I know you know that.

Hey Darko,Sorry I haven't been here in a while baby! PLEASE forgive me,

it's just so hard anymore to come here. It's like If I don't REALLY think of you as being gone then you aren't. But then when I come here it's like it has happened all over again, and I can't think like that. I have to think of you as just being away somewhere it's easier on me that way. Yeah I guess I'm always taking the easy way out huh? But I can't help it son. If I didn't think like this I would lose my mind, not like I haven't anyway's. I'm really sad tonight honey!! I need you here with me Darko, I need you to Hug me and tell me it will be alright!! I would give anything if I could just see you and chat with you, If you could just sit and tell me whats been going on with you sense you have been gone. Tell me whats it like up there, tell me when I will be up there with you??????

I will ALWAYS love you with all my heart and soul son...you will ALWAYS be my baby boy, and I CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

I Love and Miss My Son

There Were Many Moments With You ...
(Just Not Enough Years)
A child is a gift
that comes with many moments of love.
But what you think you'll hold for a lifetime,
may one day soar to the Heavens above.

Oh, now, I think back at the moments;
Precious moments I shared with you.
I think of the times that I heard you laugh ...
There's nothing to compare it to.

I think of the times you sat with me;
Sharing the dreams you treasure.
And sharing the failures that you feared most ...
Even these were moments of pleasure.

Every moment I shared with you was a joy!
So much more than you could know.
Just to hear each time your heart would beat ...
Meant one more beat to help you grow!

Tonight, I sit & hold onto the photo albums;
Holding onto every single minute.
I look back & long for more time in life with you.
For more life while you were in it.

I see others around me & know that they
understand exactly how I feel.
For every moment I live without you
is a moment too painfully real.

So, I sit tonight longing to hold you.
I just can't hold back my tears.
There were many moments with you ...
Oh ... Just not enough years.

Oh Darko it's night's like this that I have a real hard time without you. I am so upset right now I can't hardley stand it!!!!!! This is a time that I really need you to hold ME and tell ME that it's all going to be alright. All the time's Darko that I held you and told you it was going to be alright. Well now It's my turn, I NEED YOU MORE NOW THEN I HAVE EVER NEEDED YOU. It's just not fair that I don't get you anymore. You where my child, and I don't get to have you now and I can't stand that. I don't get my hugs to tell me it's going to be alright. I don't get my "I Love you Mom" anymore, and I want that. I would do anything in my power for it be 1987 again. I would go threw 1,0000.00 hours of hell to have you all over again and play out your life again with you. I would have never yelled at you. It kill's me and I hate myself every time I think of the times I made you mad at me. I'm so sorry Darko for all those times, I love you more then anyone could ever love anybody or anything. I'm sorry honey but when something goes wrong in my life, I alway's think of you. I guess it's because, out of everyone. I would think you would ALWAYS be there for me, like I was for you. You know, it's like I took care of you for almost 21 yrs. and now it's your turn to be the one to take care of me when I get older and need you. And now you wont be able to! What will I do with out you?
Now that I got some of that out. I should feel
better, but I really don't. But God will help me I know, because he has been every day now. He will keep me strong for you.
I love you Baby and I always will. Love, Mom

mom

mom

October’2011

~♥~What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch, we may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget ~♥~

To Honor You

To honor you, I get up everyday and take a breath.

And start another day without you in it.

To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile

And the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge.

To honor you, I take the time to appreciate everyone I love,

I know now there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence.

To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked,

And sing at the top of my lungs, with the windows rolled down.

To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back,

Risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance.

You were my light, my heart, my gift of love, from the very highest source.

So everyday, I vow to make a difference, share a smile, live, laugh and love.

Now I live for us both, so all I do, I do to honor you.

I miss him everyday and although time is a healer of pain, it can't erase the feeling of emptiness I have in my heart and stomach when I know I will never again hug my son. To never again hear is voice call out for me, or see his big grin and wave as he drives away. Knowing that he won't be sleeping in his bed or wearing his favorite shirt or sitting down at the supper table to tell us some wild stories, ever again, time numbs that pain, but even after three years it hasn't made it go away...I still miss it all and I still miss him.

We will always love you, mom & dad

mom

September'2011

As I sit here at the computer, I am already crying, and I don't know where to begin. My son, Darko Durbic, died on July 31th, 2008. He was 20 years, 8 months, 16 days old. That is not enough! Not for him, not for me, not for anyone. He was my past, present, and future.Now I have nothing but tomorrows filled with pain,and sorrow. Darko had such compassion, truthfulness, trusting and strength. I wish I had told him that he far surpassed my dreams for him. That he turned out to be the kindest person I know.

I remember he was a baby of just 8 lbs 4 oz. His tiny hands that I will never again hold. His soft kisses that I will never again feel. His beautiful eyes that I will never have the pleasure of seeing again. His voice calling "Mom". I think that I will always miss his voice the most. Darko grew into a man of 6ft. 6in., yet he was, and always will be "my baby".

Darko had a wonderful life. He adored golf. He had tons of friends, joined in everything....that was just Darko. He started to play golf at the age of 13 when his older brother Marko spend a lot of time golfing. He always compete with his brother in everything, and turns out that he is better golfer then Marko. You will live on in my memories, I will never forget you Darko. It just doesn't seem possible that you were here and now your gone, never to return. You are out there, somewhere in the universe, please know that I feel very special, that you came into my life. I love you, and always will. I will find you someday, and we will see each other again. Hold that thought, Darko, as I do....it is all that is keeping me going now. That and my love for you. I will never forget you, my son, my life.............Mom.

We his parents will always remember his boundless zest for life. He was life! He lived every day as if it would be his last. We , his family , who he lived with for 20 years, will always remember his open displays of affection. Your mother, your father and your brother, Marko love you more than words can possible tell. You are in our hearts; in our souls for as long as we live on this earth. I can hear your laugh, I can see your smile, I can feel the warmth of your hugs, your rough beard on my face.

I never knew there existed such pain as this!! I hope my love will be stronger than the pain I am now experiencing.We'll love you forever Darko.

No words can take the place of our loved one's leave from us, so we must look to the heavens and pick out a special star that we may gaze at to remember the times of our coming together and sharing our lives until that day when we ourselves have a star of our own.

As he was transfered to the hospital I whispered in his ear,"Don't give up mom is right here and I won't leave you, please fight with everything you have I love you." He did fight and 28 days later he lost the battle. But not before touching so many with the strength of his life. To hear my boy heart beating once more is my dream. In death as in life Darko touched people every where he went. I know that he is with me today and will always be with me. He traded his life for angel wings.

We love you, Darko, and we miss your practical jokes, laugh, and your beautiful smile that I was always afraid you'd wear out because you used it all time. I'm still waiting to hear from you. I love you, baby, and my heart hurts so bad. I truly hope that I'll get to join you soon.

I thank God for allowing me the honor of caring for His special children for the while He left them here. Maybe God trusted me more than I did myself for I know now He always sends His special children to those He knows will love them while they're here and keep their memories alive when He calls them back.

Butter-Fly Kisses and My Love Forever... 20 years,8 months and 16 days

mom

August'2011

Hello My HANDSOME SON

There are times I just do not understand any of this Darko.Then there are the times, I know that Jesus called you by name. He Wanted you to come home to Him. Even though I know deep in my heart, that He lent you to me for those precious 20 years, I feel so alone at times. Only you and the Lord knows the depth of my pain and anguish of you not with me any longer. I went to the cemetery today, I enjoy going to see you there as often as I do. I wanted to sit next to you and just talk about the things we use to do, the things we talked about, I am still having a very hard time without you Darko. I always talk to you. I feel so at peace there, even though, I know you are not in the grave. Only the shell that held your handsome spirit lies there. You are such a testimony for so many people. The love you showed to so many Darko, still is so powerful to this day.

I walked into the house tonight and called your name. I asked you what you would like for dinner, there was no answer. I went into your room and once again look at your pictures, all of the ones you have on display. Some you are in, some your not. Even though I know the Lord and I know you are dwelling in His presence and that I will, one day, be able to see you again, this pain still exists. It doesn't go away. I will be talking to someone, or I will be in the market, or I see one of your friends and out of the blue, my voice quivers, my eyes swell with tears and my heart breaks all over again. My Dear Precious Darko, if my love and everyone who is here and their love for you, could have saved you, you would be here now. And yes,I know you were saved by the love, that Jesus has given to you and for all of us. That is why we will be together again someday. Goodnight my Sweet Son.......... I love you so much!!!!

Butter-Fly Kisses and My Love Forever... 20 years,8 months and 16 days
Your Mom

mom

                                                                    July'2011




On July 31, 2008 after bravely fighting the most difficult battle of his young life, God decided that my hero had suffered enough, he peacefully passed away and became God's newest Angel. I can't even begin to express how priceless it was to be able to hold the son I had given birth to 20 years earlier while he peacefully walked, in no more pain, with no more hindrances, no more challenges, into the arms of God. Darko changed everyone who ever had the privilege and honor of meeting him, and I humbly include myself in this group, as not a day goes by that I am not eternally amazed and grateful to God for entrusting his life to me. From day one, he had the spirit of a giant, the heart of an Angel and the bravery of an army.  Darko fought every battle like it was the most important, and never, ever stopped trying.  We didn't teach him how to quit, and as hard as it now is for me, I refuse to quit because I know my baby never did.  To quit would be the ultimate betrayal. He teaches me how to go on, somehow.... someway....

No one can go back and make a brand new start.Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strenght for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.



It's has been so hard these three years with you gone from our lives. I didn't put in a page from last two years it was just too hard not saying this year is any different, but I feel I need to add this page at this time. You are very loved and missed I know that you are at peace and laughing, your hurt is gone. It doesn't make it any easier for the ones that are left behind. We are trying to live our lives with happiness there has been joy in our lives. Just know you will always be in our hearts even though you are not here physical. You always were concerned about others not even thinking of yourself. You had a kind heart and would give of yourself without asking anything in return. I love you my precious son.

If I could go anywhere in this great big world it would be nowhere. I want to be with you, My sweet Darko. I want to soar on your angel wings, see old frieds and learn new things.

If I could see anyone in this great big universe it would be noone, but you my sweet boy. I would give you hugs and kisses and all the other things your mommy misses.

If I could walk in anyones shadow it would be yours, You are the one that made me a mom. I don't understand why you are gone.

If I could be with anyone you see, it would be you my sweet baby, You where almost a man. No babies to hold.You are my angel, you always where. What do I do? Where do I go? I need you here.

You're still a part of everything I do; You're on my heart just like a tattoo. I'll always have you Darko Durbic Just Like a Tattoo

The 31st of July my 20 year old son Darko took his last breath. After four  months of hard struggle against cancer he was forced to give up. He never gave up life.
In the end he was more mature then my husband and myself. He was not afraid of his death, just how it will become.
I've lost my friend, my son, and my love. My heart is cut out of my body. I can no longer find the world I once knew.

He was so certain. Treated with chemo and radiation, he still thought life was a never ending story to explore. Darko, I love You more than the rest of my own life. May I be half as brave as You to meet my life and my death.

Without You Darko, my life is no longer certain. Day by day passes by. I fear to live another 30 years without Your guidance. Please tell me there's a heaven where everybody meets. Please tell me there is a meaning to all we have to endure. Your life was in pain and still You were full of the power to love life. How can we learn from Your example now that You are gone?

For months I felt that Darko was away somewhere having a good time. I felt that any day he would phone, he would come. But he didn't phone, he didn't write, he didn't come. Darko was gone.

One day I went to Darko’s room to put something away. When I opened the door I could smell him- I could smell the febreeze he loves to use. But he wasn't there.

I will never love anyone the way I love Darko. No one will ever love me the way Darko did.

My son, Darko, was always telling me, "Mom, don't worry! Nothing will happen to me!" How many times as parents do we here them say that? How many times as a mother did I think of all the things that could happen to him?

What happens afterwards, unfortunately you all know by experience.

Life without Darko was something I could not even imagine, I wanted to die too. My son was a wonderful boy, full of life, good student, never gave us a problem of any sort. Since he was a little boy he wanted to go to bed late, as if he knew that his time was too short to be wasted sleeping. I want to share with you something he wrote:

"Live each day, each hour, each minute and if possible each second as they come. Take the most out of them. Forget the past, live the present and postpone the future. Death awaits you; it is just a matter of when and how it will strike you."

I am not a religious person so I could not turn to religion for support; I fell in a deep depression and had to seek medical help.

I could not bear the idea that he was gone forever. It was impossible for me to go on living with that thought. He had to be somewhere, all his power; his energy could not simply vanish. My grief has been long and painful and I believe that I will grieve as long as I live. I start to believe that maybe death is not the end but the beginning of something and maybe I will meet my son again, WHERE EVER HE IS, and hear him say again? Mom give-me a hug? Simple words that I miss so much.

Our grief is deep. Standing in the sea of pain I hope the next child caught in cancer will reenter life and give the world what was lost in Darko’s death.

The mother of Darko,the son who only joined the world for
20 years,8 months and 16 days

Total Memories: 378

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