September'2011
As I sit here at the computer, I am already crying, and I don't know where to begin. My son, Darko Durbic, died on July 31th, 2008. He was 20 years, 8 months, 16 days old. That is not enough! Not for him, not for me, not for anyone. He was my past, present, and future.Now I have nothing but tomorrows filled with pain,and sorrow. Darko had such compassion, truthfulness, trusting and strength. I wish I had told him that he far surpassed my dreams for him. That he turned out to be the kindest person I know.
I remember he was a baby of just 8 lbs 4 oz. His tiny hands that I will never again hold. His soft kisses that I will never again feel. His beautiful eyes that I will never have the pleasure of seeing again. His voice calling "Mom". I think that I will always miss his voice the most. Darko grew into a man of 6ft. 6in., yet he was, and always will be "my baby".
Darko had a wonderful life. He adored golf. He had tons of friends, joined in everything....that was just Darko. He started to play golf at the age of 13 when his older brother Marko spend a lot of time golfing. He always compete with his brother in everything, and turns out that he is better golfer then Marko. You will live on in my memories, I will never forget you Darko. It just doesn't seem possible that you were here and now your gone, never to return. You are out there, somewhere in the universe, please know that I feel very special, that you came into my life. I love you, and always will. I will find you someday, and we will see each other again. Hold that thought, Darko, as I do....it is all that is keeping me going now. That and my love for you. I will never forget you, my son, my life.............Mom.
We his parents will always remember his boundless zest for life. He was life! He lived every day as if it would be his last. We , his family , who he lived with for 20 years, will always remember his open displays of affection. Your mother, your father and your brother, Marko love you more than words can possible tell. You are in our hearts; in our souls for as long as we live on this earth. I can hear your laugh, I can see your smile, I can feel the warmth of your hugs, your rough beard on my face.
I never knew there existed such pain as this!! I hope my love will be stronger than the pain I am now experiencing.We'll love you forever Darko.
No words can take the place of our loved one's leave from us, so we must look to the heavens and pick out a special star that we may gaze at to remember the times of our coming together and sharing our lives until that day when we ourselves have a star of our own.
As he was transfered to the hospital I whispered in his ear,"Don't give up mom is right here and I won't leave you, please fight with everything you have I love you." He did fight and 28 days later he lost the battle. But not before touching so many with the strength of his life. To hear my boy heart beating once more is my dream. In death as in life Darko touched people every where he went. I know that he is with me today and will always be with me. He traded his life for angel wings.
We love you, Darko, and we miss your practical jokes, laugh, and your beautiful smile that I was always afraid you'd wear out because you used it all time. I'm still waiting to hear from you. I love you, baby, and my heart hurts so bad. I truly hope that I'll get to join you soon.
I thank God for allowing me the honor of caring for His special children for the while He left them here. Maybe God trusted me more than I did myself for I know now He always sends His special children to those He knows will love them while they're here and keep their memories alive when He calls them back.
Butter-Fly Kisses and My Love Forever... 20 years,8 months and 16 days