Darko Durbic

As the five year anniversary of Darko’s death pass I've done a lot of soul searching.   It's such a rollercoaster every single day and it takes every ounce of energy just to breathe in and out.  Have I gotten better?  Have I changed?  Did I overcome?  No to all of those because it is a constant battle.  Losing Darko is something I will never get over and I will always be sadder than I can even express.  Cut off your limbs and you will miss them forever, yes you are still alive and can still function but...something's missing right?  I will probably always go through high times and low times, more low but I'll have to mask that.  That's the way it is.

I have learned something from this.  I'm not afraid.  I'm not afraid to die and I'm not afraid to live.  I'm here on earth hoping that I'm making a difference.  I've made some life long friends and I've let go of some family and friends as well.  That's the way it is.  Everything changes.  Believing in myself, trusting my instincts again, are things that I have really struggled with but once in awhile I take a step back and look at this life.  I am still here and I am slowly moving forward, in a different direction then where I was going before, but I haven't stopped being the three things that are really important to me...a wife, a mother and a grandmother.  I have mourned, screamed, cried, laughed, and grown in these past 5 years.  I have had experiences and met people that I never would have if Darko hadn't died.  Yes, I would trade those experiences and people in a heart beat if it meant one more hour with Darko. I want an hour with you, Darko, I love you Darko always mom.

Darko...you were my baby and you will always hold a very special place in my heart. I am so proud of you and what you accomplished in your short 20 years on earth. I miss you so much; I have no words to tell you. Every time I look at your brother, Marko or his daughter Milla...I see your face. I know that I will see you again and that is what keeps me going. You touched so many people’s lives, you will never know.

This memorial which I created to you I wanted a place that people could see and remember you. I know that you watch over me. I feel your presence from time to time. I think about you every day and I know that you are at peace now.

I love you, Darko. I miss you, Darko. I will be with you again.
Your loving mom

In this past five years I have tried to honor and respect Darko’s memory in my own special ways. Some people think I went above and beyond, but those people can't possibly understand my loss.

Always your Mother

I'll remember....

I won't forget.

When I wake and see the morning dew,

When the sun shines bright and skies are blue,

I'll close my eyes and think of you.

....And I'll remember. 

I'll remember....

The happy times,

The sunny smile upon your face,

The joy you brought to all my days.

Your caring heart, your loving ways.

Ah, yes....I'll remember.

You're gone now,

....But I won't forget.

For though my heart still calls your name,

And Oh my heart still feels the pain.

Until the day we meet again,

....I'll remember.

Your anniversary is almost here 5 yrs and it feels like yesterday. My heart is forever broken and my soul torn without you. When you died most of me died with you. Love Always, Mom

Wondering how to go on from here
Not a day goes by without a tear.
Each morning wanting to call you on the phone.
Knowing I can't and feeling all alone.
Feeling like the hurt will never fade.
Not being able to carry out the plans we've made.

My son, my friend why did you go?
I love you, I need you, I miss you so.

Lying here awake at night
Nothing in this world seems right.
You were our baby, our family glue
What will become of us without you?

Not a word could you speak, but I heard you loud and clear
"Take care of each other for I fear the end is near."
I want you to know and rest in peace dear son,
as promised we'll stay all togheter.

Our angel in heaven, I know you're still there
to watch over us, to listen, with tender loving care.
I love you, I miss you but for you I'll be strong.

My son, my friend why did you go?
I love you, I need you, I miss you so.

They say that memories are golden, well maybe that is true, but we never wanted memories we only wanted you. We love and miss you so much darling, love from mom, dad and brother XXXX