Darko Durbic

Hi Darko,

Mama is posting this picture and I wont to let you know that this little one make our life a little easier. Our precious granddaughter turning two tomorrow and mama know that you will be around her and on your special way you will wish her Happy Birthday. Milla knows who you are and I tell her that she has the best uncle always watching over her above. Miss and love you more than words can express …..

Before you were conceived I wanted you

Before you were born I loved you

Before you were here in minute I would die for you

The moment you left this earth I begged to go with you

I will always love you Darko



 

A life so full of beauty

A life so full of hope

Taken from my arms

Now nothing left to hold

In my heart there is a hole

 Impossible to fill

Still looking for the answers

And needing all your will

Taken to a place

Too far for me to travel

I would gladly walk a million miles

Barefoot upon the ground

Just to see your face again

Just to feel your hand

Just to know your okay

And to try to understand

The reasons why, I may never know

A lesson today in letting go

I'll take with me the memories

Of a life that was so bright

I will look into the heavens

And see your shinning light

Knowing that someday

We will be together again

Taking your love with me

Will keep me strong until the end

As the five year anniversary of Darko’s death pass I've done a lot of soul searching.   It's such a rollercoaster every single day and it takes every ounce of energy just to breathe in and out.  Have I gotten better?  Have I changed?  Did I overcome?  No to all of those because it is a constant battle.  Losing Darko is something I will never get over and I will always be sadder than I can even express.  Cut off your limbs and you will miss them forever, yes you are still alive and can still function but...something's missing right?  I will probably always go through high times and low times, more low but I'll have to mask that.  That's the way it is.

I have learned something from this.  I'm not afraid.  I'm not afraid to die and I'm not afraid to live.  I'm here on earth hoping that I'm making a difference.  I've made some life long friends and I've let go of some family and friends as well.  That's the way it is.  Everything changes.  Believing in myself, trusting my instincts again, are things that I have really struggled with but once in awhile I take a step back and look at this life.  I am still here and I am slowly moving forward, in a different direction then where I was going before, but I haven't stopped being the three things that are really important to me...a wife, a mother and a grandmother.  I have mourned, screamed, cried, laughed, and grown in these past 5 years.  I have had experiences and met people that I never would have if Darko hadn't died.  Yes, I would trade those experiences and people in a heart beat if it meant one more hour with Darko. I want an hour with you, Darko, I love you Darko always mom.