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Darko's Life
mom & dad February 10, 2011
 
T E A R
                  

T = To accept the reality of the loss
E = Experience the pain of the loss
A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost one
R = Reinvest in the new reality

This is Grief Work. It begins when the friends have stopped calling,

 everyone thinks you should be over it, “closure” has been effected,

and everything is supposed to be back to normal.

 It's at this point that real grieving begins.

           

mom February 9, 2011
 

A Mother's Love
praying angel 

Sometimes its hard as a Mother, one has different feelings compared
to a Father. A Mother carries her Child inside their bodies for
nine long months and begins to feel the joys and pain of Motherhood.
Which have been sealed up inside our wholely bodies.

 

Then, we have our first morning or evening sickness. All of a sudden
our baby moves! We feel our Child, inside our precious bodies. A
Mother begans to see her Child and body change, before her very eyes.
What a experience none other could compare, to the closeness, of
a Mother and Child. A Mother realizes, truly this is a gift from God
above.

 

Then one day, your Child pushes and moves so hard. Its tiny hand or
or butt sticks out and all at once we experience the joys, pain and
excitment of Child birth. We breast fed our babies, love, care and
watch over them as they grow.

 

We tried so hard, weather right nor wrong in teaching, the way they
should go. We pray, cry and rejoice with them. Pray and cry on our
own to God, hoping they'll find God's Wisdom and Love.

 

Then, one day your Child passes away and makes there Ulitmate Journey
to be with God.

 

"THIS IS A MOTHER'S LOVE"
 

A Father's Love

  praying angel

When babies are born my daddy said,
"babies are ugly, their faces are funny,
heads shaped so werid, they have no hair!"

 

Then, we were born, daddy said,
"we are beautiful, a gift from God and he loves us so.

 

So, He gently takes us by the hand,
calmed our fears and dried our tears,
this is how our life began.

 

My Fathers said, "we are beautiful,
a gift from God above."

 

Believe in God, yourselves,
be proud of who you are.
Be kind to everyone,
no matter where their from.
Don't judge ones for where they live
or how they dress.
Look into their souls,
you'll find beauty within.

 

One of us went to Heaven today,
"Daddy I am beautiful, just like you said,
both inside and out"

 

A Father's Love is unfailing,
always uplifting and never ending.
 

My Darling Angel
praying angel

    

Oh.....Love look at what you've done to us.
Our loves have taken seperate paths.

 

You choose to fly. to the stars and beyond.
I choose earth, in all its spleandor and glory.
This is where we need to be, for it is God's
infinite Wisdom and Destiny.

 

I wonder where you are.....
I wonder about you,
then I say alittle prayer and
feel you close to me.
Knowing your near, I have nothing to fear.

 

I didn't have the pleasure of knowing you long
or seeing you grow.
But, I'll keep you close to me.
For in time, I'll reach my Destiny.

 

I'll hold you close to me
and our Love will surely grow.
No matter, where you are near or far.
I know your watching over me.
I Love You ~Darko Durbic~

 

The Way You Make Me Feel
praying angel

It's the way I feel you, that lets me know your here
It's the way you come to me, in my dreams,
which lets me know your near.
it's the things you show me, that makes it perfectively clear,
that your always near.

 

This spiritual circular motion, which keeps me,
growing without fear.
Oh God, keep drawing me near.
Never let me fall, from this perplexual spiritual motion.

 

It's the way you speak to me,
that gets me so, high.
It's the way you guide me,
in my life that makes me, want to fly.
It's your love, which makes it ubliquitously clear,
that your still so near.

 

I know spiritually, you'll always be near.

 

"Lives Secrets"
praying angel

 

Your an angel standing by my side.
Guiding me in this world full of
hatred, passion and crime.
Hold me gently, as you gaze into my eyes.
Show me lives secrets, you have locked away inside.

 

Grant me knowledge, few in life hold.
Free me from this pain...
Continuously stirring in my soul.
Your an angel who, has touched my soul...

 

It's a privilege and honor to be your mother.
You have touched me like no other.
Our worlds really aren't so far apart.
For my handsome Son
~ "Your Always In My Heart" ~
 
Love ~ Mom ~

MOM February 8, 2011
 

Darko

When I wake up in the morning

          I ask myself

How will I get through this day

          Without You

 

Ass I dress and prepare to start my day

                   I wonder

          How will I go on

                   Without you

 

As the day slowly slips away

I remember how you made me laugh

          And I smile

          Without You

 

At the end of day

As I prepare to close my eyes

I know in my HEART

I couldn’t have gotten through the day

                    WITHOUT YOU

 

Forever in our Herats…….

mom February 7, 2011
 
           
 
  
If tulips grow in Heaven
 
 
If tulips grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my son arms
and tell him they're from me.
 
Tell him that I love and miss him,
and when he turns to smile,
place a kiss upon his cheek and
hold him for awhile.
 
Because remembering him is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.
(forever my baby)
 
mom February 4, 2011
 
I Sit and Wonder

 

As I sit and gaze out the window,
I wonder where you are?
I never heard your foot steps,
And I never saw you grow.
I sit and wonder where you might be today,
What you would of done with your life.
You are singing with the angels now.
I wanted to watch you grow,
And hold you close to me.
I wanted to watch you grow,
And see you got to work that first day.
Just to hear your voice speak to me.
I wanted to see you smile each Christmas,
And watch you blow out your candles each birthday.
I wanted to see you go out on your first date,
And marry your true love.
To have a family just like everyone else.
Oh I sit and wonder about all these things,
The biggest thing is you are not here.
But you are always in my heart.
And I hold a special love for you!
 
praying angel
 
The Light on the Other Side

 

I can remember awhile ago,
I visited the other side.
I saw a beautiful light,
And there was peace that filled my inner soul.
I have never felt so content in all my life.
I saw the ones who had come before me,
Their open arms greeted me.
There was no sorrow only happiness.
Why I was here I do not know.
I only know they told me I could not stay.
I know when it is my time to go,
I shall not be sad for my loved ones are there.
And there is nothing to fear.
We all have are destined time on earth,
The clock of life is wound but once.
I know I shall feel not pain when life is over.
And I shall not be too far from everyone.
So don't be sad upon my passing,
For I shall be there to comfort you.
So I hope my life on this earth has been worthwhile.
I hope the ones I love know how much I care.
Please don't grieve for me,
Celebrate the things that I have done.
Laugh at the mistakes I have made.
For my spirit will be here as long as someone remembers.
angel with butterfly
mom January 27, 2011
 

 

 

 

THE LONG LONELY ROAD
 Dear Lord, I want to ask a favor
I have no where else to go
I've searched for years for answers
As I've walked a long, lonely road.

I always believed in Your word
I believed Heaven does exist
Until tragedy struck my life
I never knew a pain could be like this.

On a cold snowy day in November
In the year of 1987
I gave birth to my second child
A son I wanted, as many parents do.

I loved him with all my heart
I was always a good mother
He was the joy of my life
The doctors said there would be no more.

I worshiped the ground he walked on
We laughed every single day
I didn't know I'd only have him
For only 20 years until that fateful day.

On a warm sunny day in July
In the year of 2008
Maybe You felt You needed him more
When You sent the angels from Heaven.

I've tried to be strong and endure
But the road has been lonely and long
I wanted to keep him much longer
I don't feel I was wrong.

The pain was unbearable
The cross too heavy to bear
I see others going through the same loss
I want to tell them I care.

There are moms and dads all over
From all corners of the earth
That are stumbling through their daily lives
Trying to find out their worth.

Could You help them Lord, in some way
If angels really exist
There are parents who really need one
This is my only wish.

I've stumbled and fallen many times
As I walked that long,lonely road
Sometimes I felt not another
Knew the weight of my heavy load.

There's a place many are meeting
Called The Bereaved Parents
It's a room for bereaved parents
It's a place where hearts try to mend.

The tragedy of losing a child
Is the greatest pain a human can feel
It's a part of our hearts that is missing
It's a wound that never heals.

 

           "A LOVE SONG"

The mention of my child's name
May bring tears to my eyes.
But it never fails to bring
Music to my ears.
If you really are my friend,
Please, don't keep me
From hearing the beautiful music.
It soothes my broken heart
And fills my soul with love.

mom January 27, 2011
 
                                                                                                 

 
One night I cried to Jesus as I sat beneath the tree
I looked into the open sky and hoped he'd answer me
I'm lost, dear Lord,  I'v traveled far, but still I seem to roam
Please light the way and lead me, Lord;  I need to get back home

I told him of my burdens and of the sadness of my heart
That from his gracious love  I'd never felt so far apart
Why did you take my child, Lord?  I can not understand!
No longer can I touch his face or hold his dear sweet hand

I'm angry Lord,   I'm missing him.  I'm drowning in my sorrow
Please help me heal my yesterday and face each new tomorrow.
It was then I heard his gentle voice and felt his presence near
How I wanted so to hold him as I cried another tear.

He said, "Mom, I'm an angel now, my spirit now is free
I'm an angel now in Heaven,  so please don't cry for me
I was choosen by our lord above and now I'm in his care
When you need me, look inside your heart,  I promise to be there

No one can ever take away,  Our bond with one another
I'll always be your precious son  as you will be my mother
So if you can not find your way or the road to home seems far
Just look up to the Heavens and I'll be your guiding star"

He said, "Mom I'm an angel now, my spirit now is free.
I'm an angel now in Heaven~~ no need to cry for me
mom January 26, 2011
 

 

 

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE

 

Well-meaning people say I can just imagine.
They say things like my 80 year old Grandma just passed away.
I say I'm so sorry for your loss.

We want to say to those that can just imagine, do you know what it feels like to touch your child's hair for the last time?
To feel how soft and beautiful it feels.
To hold their still warm hand.
And know it's the last time until you meet again in 10, 20 or 40 years, to live without them.
To feel their hearts beat against their chest.

To look into those once vibrant eyes, to see their motionless body.
To hear them say Mom or Dad one last time, to feel their souls float away.

To hold and hug and drink in their smell and to say goodbye for the last time.
To see their best friend hug them on that hospital bed and see a tear roll down their cheek.
To have their brother say how will my kids know how great their Uncle Darko was. Will I take them to the cemetery to say hello?

I say to those who can just imagine, can you really know how raw the grief, that tears you up each day? To feel like shattered pieces inside and only the outer shell of your body holding it together. People say you look good or just fine. Meanwhile you are dying a thousand deaths of pain each day the ache for your beautiful child that is gone...

The only comfort is knowing that someday you will be reunited with your child some day when you to will die, or that he is with his special cousin Denny and grandma Mara.
Then guess you can only imagine because you can still hold your child.

mom January 26, 2011
 

A Teardrop Fell Today

 

A teardrop fell today,

 I knew the reason why.

I remember all the joy you gave …

And wonder why you had to die.

A teardrop fell today.

It wasn’t very long …

It started forming right away

When I heard your favorite song.

A teardrop fell today,

It caught me by surprise.

A smile lingered on my lips

But my heart resounded cries.

A teardrop fell today.

It’s been more than TWO long years …

Perhaps I’m making up for time

When I couldn’t shed those tears.

A teardrop fell today,

With thoughts of you, my son.

And all the love you gave to me …

But is that really gone?

For my precious boy, Darko

 

 

 

mom January 25, 2011
 
"Searching"

Closing my eyes,
I search for you.
I breathe in the light of love,
and release the tensions of this physical existence.
I reach with my mind to the spirit land,
while you watch with an amused smile.
Groping thru the fog and clutter,
I feel for the physical warmth of you...
And "see" you laugh.
"Mom," you say, "you can't feel love with your hand.
You have to feel it with your heart."
Okay, I think. I can do that...
And once again I breathe....
in with love...out with the physical...
in with love...out with the physical.
"MOM!! Stop trying so hard. Just listen....."
My reply to him pounds in my head-
"I AM TRYING! I want so much to hear you.
I miss your laugh, your smile.
It has been so long....."
In with love...out with the physical....
In with love...out with the physical....
"Mom.....I'm here."
I feel his smile...
I hear him laugh...
"Who did you THINK you were talking to?"
Silence....
Warmth fills my heart as an unanticipated smile touches my lips.
My mind sends the words-
"Well....I THOUGHT I was talking to a part of myself...."
and a soft whisper replies-
"and who more than your son is a part of you?"
Breathe....

in with love...

out with the physical...

in with love...

out with the physical...

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