REMEMBER ME    

 

             
To the living, I am gone
                            To the sorrowful, I will never return                            
                             To the angry, I was cheated                               

But, to the happy, I am at peace
And to the faithful, I have never left
Gazing at the beautiful sea, remember me
As you look in awe at a mighty forest
And its grand majesty, remember me
Remember me in your hearts,
In your thoughts, and the memories of the
Times we loved, the times we cried, the
Battle I fought and the times we laughed
  For if you always think of me, 
                                       I am always beside You    

Occasionally, we are graced with the presence of an earth bound angel. They are unable to stay with us for long, but while they do, they bring unprecedented joy and happiness to all they touch. While they are here, we bask in their goodness and marvel at their contribution to the world. When they leave, we are left with the devastation that comes with losing such a wonderful being...but we must remember...the earth bound angels are not ours to keep. They are ours to enjoy, learn from, and behold until they return home

 

     

Darko was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer on my Birthday in April of 2008. It has been 4 years since his loss, but not one day passes without speaking of him. He taught us a great lesson about unconditional love, faith, hope. I miss him deeply, but I truly believe that his pain is gone and we will be united together forever in a world that has no cancer. I don't believe that my son lost his battle, but that he won his freedom. FOREVER LOVED!

My broken heart is like a wound that will not heal. I think of my son every day and I still cry at the injustices of this terrible disease. Even though it has been 4 years the memory is as fresh as if it were yesterday. My life has forever changed my heart forever broken.

The death of a child is undoubtedly one of the most horrible losses we can ever face. It Changes us forever and we are never the same person we were before. People often ask me how I have survived Darko’s death. I can only say it has been God's abundant love, mercy and grace. Darko lived life to the fullest. He touched hearts everywhere he went. His smile could light up a room and his love and faith were an inspiration. I have learned to look for blessings in every day, because I see his love in all of them. I miss him terribly and the shock of his death still has the power to take my breath away. But I know our separation is not final - one day I will hold him in my arms again in a world much better than this. And next time I hold him it will be forever. I love you Darko and I miss you so much. Thank you for teaching me so much in your 20 years. Thank you for all your love and support. I am so proud of you.

My family struggled during his illness, yet we also grew closer to each other. It is our hope in Jesus Christ that allows us to live with the hope that God promises us we will see Darko again. It is my prayer for each family living with the horror of cancer in your family, whether that is you, a spouse, a parent, or even your child that you will seek God's face and trust in him. My child may be gone from this world but lives gloriously in the arms of Jesus Christ. May God bless all who share in this road of grief that I travel?

I know when Jesus calls me home that as I stand at those Golden Gates, Darko will run to me, kiss me and take me by the hand and say "Mama what took you so long to get here? Come on in, I've got so much to show you." Everyday I remain here I know I am one day closer to being with my precious big, brown eyed boy. Darko, you fought the good fight and YOU Won. Till then, I will hold you in my dreams because you always said "Dreams do come true Mama."

The name "Darko" means " Gift " Having you in my life for "20 years" was a "Special Blessing" you taught me more in 20 years than I could have learned in " 50 years"

My love always and forever, Mama.

The reality is that we don't forget, move on, and have closure, but rather we honor, we remember, and incorporate our deceased children and siblings into our lives in a new way. In fact, keeping memories of your loved one alive in your mind and heart is an important part of your healing journey.

 

You never leave my mind, even when I have million things to worry about, you my son my love.

 

~ when you see a butterfly think of me ~

For all you were to me in life And all the joy you brought, Your memory is with me In every single thought. The pain I felt at losing you will never go away, But knowing that you're in my heart Helps me through each day. When you were here I always felt that nothing could go wrong, But you're still my inspiration And your memory keeps me strong. And though my heart is heavy It's always full of love, and that's enough to comfort me While you're in heaven above.

                                                                               .

Grief comes in one size, Extra Large.
If we tuck it away in the bottom drawer
where it never sees the light of day
it remains exactly the same.
On the other hand,
if we wear it, feel it, talk about it,
and share it with others,
it is likely that it will become faded, shrunk and worn,
or will simply no longer fit.
When grief has served its purpose
we are able to recognize the many gifts we have gained.

Grief is neither an illness nor a pathological condition
but rather a highly personal
and normal response
to life-changing events,
a natural process
that can lead to healing
and personal growth.
The transition through this difficult time
is the courageous journey.

Grieving allows us to heal
to remember with love rather than pain.
It is a sorting process.
One by one you let go
of the things that are gone
and you mourn for them.
One by one you take hold
of the things that have become a part of who you are
and build again.

A GRIEVING PARENT

 

A grieving parent is someone who will;

never forget their child no matter how painful memories are.

A grieving parent is someone who;

yearns to be with their dead, but cannot conceive leaving their living ones.

A grieving parent is someone who;

has a part of a heart as the rest is buried with their child.

A grieving parent is someone who; begs for relief from the memories which plague them and then feel guilty when they get it.

A grieving parent is someone who;

pretends to be happy and enjoying life, when they really are dying inside.

A grieving parent is someone who, can cry or laugh at the drop of a hat whenever they remember their beloved child.

A grieving parent is someone who; feels as if they just lost their child yesterday no matter how much time has passed.

A grieving parent is someone who; fears for their remaining family because they cannot bear to have any more losses.

A grieving parent is someone who; sits by their child's gravestone and feels a knife stabbing their heart.

A grieving parent is someone who; ants to help others who have lost loved ones because somehow their loss is theirs all over again.

 

Please See Me Through My Tears

You asked, "How are you doing?"
As I told you, tears came to my eyes . . .
And you looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me drained away.

"How am I doing?" . . .
I do better when people listen,
though I may shed a tear or two.
These feelings are indescribable.
If you’ve never felt them you cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you.
When you look away,
when I’m ignored,
I am again alone with them.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.

Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They’re nature’s way of helping me to heal . . .
They relieve some of the stress of sadness.

I know you fear that asking
how I’m doing brings me sadness . . .
but it doesn’t work that way.
The memory of my loved one’s absence is with me,
only a thought away.

My tears make my loss more visible to you,
but you did not cause this sadness.
It was already there.

When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless,
not knowing what to do?
You are not helpless,
and you don’t need to do a thing but be here for me.

When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,
you’ve helped me.
You need not speak. Your silence is all I need.
Be patient . . . do not fear.

Listening with your heart to "how am I doing"
validates what I’m going through,
for when the tears can freely come I feel lighter.

Talking to you releases
what I’ve been wanting to say aloud,
clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.
I’ll cry for a minute or two . . . then I’ll wipe my eyes,
and sometimes you’ll even find I’m laughing in a while.

When I hold back my tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots . . .
because I’m trying to protect you from my tears.
Then we both hurt . . .
me, because my feelings are held inside,
causing pain and a shield against our closeness . . .
and you, because suddenly we’re emotionally distant.

So please, take my hand and see me through my tears . . .
then we can be close again

Dearest Mommy

When you wonder the meaning of life and love
Know that I am with you,
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
in the gentle breeze across your cheek.

When you begin to doubt that you shall ever see me again
Quiet your mind and hear me,
I am the whisper of the heavens
Speaking of your love.

When you lose your identity
When you question who you are and where you are going,
Open your heart and see me.
I am the twinkle in the stars smiling down upon you,
Lighting the path for your journey.

When you awaken each morning
Not remembering your dreams
But feeling content and serene
Know that I was with you -
Filling your night with thoughts of me

When you linger in the remnant pain
Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar
Think of me and
Know that I am with you,
Touching you through the shared tears of a gentle friend
Easing the pain

As the sunrise illuminates the desert sky
In the breathtaking glory, awaken your spirit
Think of our time, all too brief, but ever brilliant.
When you were certain of us, together
When you were certain of your destiny

Know that God created that moment in time,
Just for us
Dearest Mommy, I am always with you.

I Hear Each Tear Fall On Her Face

 

My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.

She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.

I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.

But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?

I know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.

Oh I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.

Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name!

I Can Tell

 

I can tell by that look friend, that we need to talk.

So come take my hand and let's go for a walk.

 See I'm not like the others -I won't shy away.

Because I want to hear what you've got to say.

 

Your child has died and you need to be heard.

But they don't want to hear a single word.

 They say your child's with God, so be strong.

They say all the "right" things that somehow seem wrong.

 

I'll walk in your shoes for more than a mile.

I'll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile.

 I won't criticize you or judge you or scorn.

I'll just stay and listen 'til night turns to morn.

 

Yes, the journey is hard and unbearably long.

And I know that you think that you're not quite that strong.

 So just take my hand 'cause I've got time to spare.

And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there.

 

See, I owe a debt you can help me repay.

For not so long ago, I was helped the same way.

 And I stumbled and fell through a world so unreal.

So believe when I say that I know how you feel.

 

I don't look for praise or financial gain.

And I'm sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain.

 I'm just a strong shoulder who'll be here 'til the end.

I'll be your Friend !!!

Wings of the Angels

The days pass hard as problems grow and grow You put on your best face, but hopes all fade low Death reaches your way while the dark winds blow But your spirit is strong as friends in heaven know

So tonight sleep in the wings of the angels let them guard your dreams and tomorrow wake with the love of the angels and the world will be better than it seems

As the years pass by and problems come and go hold your hopes and dreams even when others say no Let life's light break dark clouds and make your spirit glow And always remember friends above waiting with a shining halo

And so every night sleep in the wings of the angels let them guard your dreams And each tomorrow wake with the love of the angels and the world will be better than it seems ……

Now That I'm In Heaven

     Now that I'm in Heaven
      I can fly with the angels
      Sing with the birds
      Drift with the clouds
      Dance in the rain.

      Now That I'm in Heaven
      I can laugh with the thunder
      Soar with the stars
      Walk on a rainbow
      Shine with the moon.

      Now that I'm in Heaven
      I can smile with the sun
      Talk with the wind
      Run with the lightning
      And sleep in Immortal arms.

      Now that I'm in Heaven
      I'd never go back.
      This is my place now
      Where I belong.
      Now that I'm in Heaven.

 

You'll Be In My Heart

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here
in my heart always
Always

You're Not Alone

 

We've never met yet we share a common bond.

Each of us held a child that now is gone.

 You're searching for reasons why?

 I wish I could tell you how.

But no one has the answers right now.

 

Knowing far too well just what you are going through.

It wasn't that long ago

Someone was there for me.

If you need me, I'll be there for you.

 You are not alone

 

Through restless hours of sorrow and pain

As tears keep falling like rain.

 How could it be so suddenly?

 You're not alone

 

Lord knows you are not to blame

Feeling life just isn't the same.

 You're not alone

 

Hours turn into days.

Days turn into years.

The memory of your precious child never disappears.

 Behind each storm there's a rainbow.

Beyond the clouds skies are blue.

 

You ask me, When I say I do.

If you need me, I'll be there for you.

 You're not alone

 

Through restless hours of sorrow and pain

As tears keep falling like rain….

 And though your storm has just begun,

Keep watching for the rainbow……

It will come.

 

Wings of a Dove

 

On the wings of a snow white dove ~ He sends His pure sweet love

A sign from above ~ On the wings of a dove

 When troubles surround us ~ When evils come

The body grows weak ~ The spirit grows numb

 When these things beset us ~ He doesn’t forget us

He sends down His love ~ On the wings of a dove

 When Noah had drifted ~ On the flood many days

He searched for land ~ In various ways

 Troubles he had some ~ But wasn't forgotten

He sent him His love ~ On the wings of a dove

 On the wings of a snow white dove ~ He sent his pure sweet love

A sign from above ~ On the wings of a dove

                                

He Wrote: If I die today ...have I lived the life I wanted, and accomplished all my goals?  Was I happy?  Yes I am happy.  My goal isn't necessarily to accomplish EVERTHING, but rather to live a life where I am working toward life's goals. 

Miss You

Simply put ...I really miss you
I've continued to ask why
Life took this dreadful wrong turn...
Now I often sit and cry

Simply put ...my heart is broken
Most people have no clue
Unless they live this heartache...
They don't know what I've lived through

Simply put... I long to hug you
Share a gentle warm embrace
Often spend each day just wishing....
This truth could somehow be erased

Simply put... I can't remember...
The last time I heard your voice
Memories are often painful...
I was not given any choice

Simply put... I know I'm grieving
Won't get better through the years
I have learned some coping methods...
To accept this new frontier

Simply put... I'm good at masking
Denying what I feel
For I know deep down inside me...
I will never truly heal

Simply put...I really miss you
No one knows the pain I bear
Simply put... there is no reason
Losing you was just not fair

Remembering you
.

Each night we shed a silent tear
As we speak to you in prayer.
To let you know we love you
And just how much we care.
Take our million teardrops
Wrap them up in love
Then ask the wind to carry them
To you in heaven above.

MEMORIES OF YOU

.
Memories of you...
Will stay in my heart forever,
Memories of you...
I will always treasure.
Memories of you...
make me feel warm inside,
Memories of you...
are the love I cannot hide.
Memories of you...
help me through the day,
Memories of you...
will never fade away.
Memories of you...
are beautiful and dear,
They seem to grow still brighter
with every passing year.

Our special place

.
There is a little corner
Where I visit everyday
No-one knows I go there
Or how long that I stay

In this little corner
I speak to you alone
I imagine what it would be like
To have you back at home

In this little corner
I hold you really tight
I cuddle, kiss and squeeze you
What a pretty sight

In this little corner
I tuck you up to sleep
Another cuddle another weep
Where is this little corner
Where we never are apart
It's where I always have you with me
It's the corner of my heart.

 

I'll love you forever

.
You're with me in memory and in my heart
You're with me always, we're never apart
I talk to you, you hear my call
Cause you pick me up whenever I fall.

I hear your footsteps whenever I walk
I know you listen whenever I talk
I know you are looking down at me
I can't see you but you can see me.

If you ever get time to come back to me
I'll be waiting and I always will be
I'm waiting to see that you are all right
Come anytime, day or night.

But until that time comes, I'll keep waiting for you
And watching your star in the sky of blue
I'll love you forever, you're in my heart
Never, oh never will we be apart.

Grief's river

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
But I myself determine
Just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
In waves of guilt and pain,
But there are always quiet pools
Where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger;
My faith seems faint indeed,
But there are other swimmers
Who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
When the waters are too swift,
And someone kind to listen
When I just seem to drift.

Grief's river is a process
Of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope's channels,
I'll reach the shore at last.

GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART......
★
Last night at bedtime I looked out
to say goodnight to you ★
and out the window through the clouds
a star came shining through
★
It sparkled and it twinkled
like a precious diamond stone
it looked as if it winked at me ★
and I feel less alone
★
On earth we can see starlight
even if the star has gone
and though you are not with me
your light still does shine on ★
★
So though I cannot kiss your face ★
or tuck you in all tight
I'll look to heaven, see a star
and whisper your goodnight. ★

14^th NOVEMBER

*
This day will be a celebration
Of the time that you were here.
You will always be remembered
With great love and many tears.

But to only feel pain and sorrow
Would not be fair to you.
Your life meant so much more to us,
More than words could say.

You were here so briefly,
I wonder if you knew
All the ways you’ve touched
Our world and our hearts

And everyone who knew you
Since the day God called you home.
Now that you’re an angel
With your heavenly Father above,

We see not only what we’ve lost
But our capacity of love.
There will always be a big void
In our life and a hole in our

Hearts that will never heal.
Our souls will grieve forever.
Will we forget or stop loving you?
No! Not now…not ever.

As this day is upon us,
Oh, how our hearts still hurt.
But even as I mourn your death,
We will always celebrate your birth.

 

Think of me

The silent tear
Just close your eyes and you will see
All the memories that you have of me
Just sit and relax and you will find
I'm really still there inside your mind


Don’t cry for me now I'm gone
For I am in the land of song
There is no pain, there is no fear
So dry away that silent tear


Don’t think of me in the dark and cold
For here I am, and I wont grow old
I'm in that place that’s filled with love
Known to you all, as 'UP ABOVE'

Keep me alive in your heart

When you feel you miss me most
As the years go drifting by
Each memory of me will prove to you
That love can never die...

That while I left you far too soon
I did not leave alone
For Jesus sent his angels
To gently take me home...

Take comfort when you think of me
Keep me alive in your heart
And with each precious memory
We will never be apart...

 

 

 

 TIME DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Early in my grief I really couldn’t understand what people meant when they said, “time makes a difference”, “time heals”, or “you’ll feel better in time”. In fact those trite comments often ticked me off! I thought, “how do you know”? But when another parent who had experienced the death of a child made similar comments I responded differently. I thought, “well you must know, you’ve been at this grief thing longer than I. Tell me how time is going to heal me or how I’m going to be able to live without my child. I don’t think I have ever received a clear answer to that question, nor do I have the answer to pass on to others, but I will have to admit that time has made a difference. On July 31^th my son Darko have been gone from this world for four years. Sometimes four years seems like an incredibly long time, yet other times it seems as if it has went by quickly. So many things have changed in four years. I think of Darko and wonder how he would have felt about some of those changes. In my mind I imagine conversations with Darko where I tell him about the changes that have occurred since his death.

Darko’s death caused me to question many of my beliefs and to explore new ideas and beliefs. But Darko’s death and my anger about not having him in this world with me actually gave me permission to question and look into my beliefs like never before. By nature I am a people pleaser, don’t rock the boat, go with the flow, don’t make waves, type of person. I’ve always had a strong sense of right and wrong, and a feeling that good will always prevail. Darko’s death shook those beliefs to the very core. Whatever limited sense of security I had prior to Darko’s death was replaced with the thought that if something this bad could happen, than what else could happen? I’d already experienced a lot of tough stuff; somehow I felt I’d already paid my dues. I heard people say, “God never puts more on you than what you can handle. I thought God had too much confidence in me, or perhaps he didn’t know me very well or maybe there really wasn’t a God. Nothing seemed very certain in my life at this point. I felt tormented with all the uncertainties. Nothing seemed normal now and I wondered how I could live without one of my children. I seemed to exist in a funny sort of place. I didn’t understand how the sun could shine when my world seemed to have plunged into darkness. I did not feel a part of this world. People assured me it would get better, but I wondered if it would? Insecurity and guilt seemed to accompany me day and night. At night when I couldn’t sleep I would replay the last days of Darko’s life. I thought that if just one thing had happened differently my Darko wouldn’t have died. As a parent I felt it was my responsibility to keep my children safe. Somehow I had dropped the ball and failed to keep Darko safe. “Why” was always the question that remained unanswered?

When did things change? I can’t remember an exact date/time when things changed, but the important thing is - things did change.

When I listen to a newly bereaved person talk, I really see that time has made a difference. I usually hear some of the same fears and concerns I had early in my grief. Some of the things I have learned so far are:

• That it is my responsibility to learn to live with the pain from the death of my son.

• That attending support groups, counseling, talking to trusted family and friends, reading many grief books have all played a part in my recovery.

• That grief is hard work!

• That life is not fair?

• That bad things do happen to good people.

• That it’s up to me to make a decision to become better, not bitter.

• That everything I have experienced in this life has had an impact on me.

• That as I grow and change, so will some of my beliefs.

• That my life is a work in progress.

• That I need to talk about my son who died.

• That it’s o.k. to be mad at God, - God can handle it. God is a bereaved parent too, so he truly understands.

• That God knows how long you will live even before you are born. (this means that there is a master plan)

• That there is life after death, which means I’ll get to see my son again.

• That sometimes we are fortunate enough to be given signs that there is life after death.

• That allowing myself to be happy doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten my son’s death.

• That while most of the time I move forward in my journey through grief, there will be times when I take some steps backward, but never back to the beginning.

• That I can love my child as much in death as I loved him in life.

• That I should share my experience, strength, and hope with other bereaved parents.

• That life can change in a heartbeat.

• That I have very little control over events in this world.

   

To Our Darling Loving Son

 

We stood by your bed side
all holding hands full of tears
We held your hands
and stroked your hair
watching you just lay there
without a smile or a laugh in sight
this was to be your last fight
We all talked about your good times
for us they will never fade
we wanted you to feel the love
as we did love you more each day
We watched your every breath
and prayed it wasn't the last
the time we got to share together
went by too quick ... far to fast
we wanted you to wake up
please Darko not your last
tell me its a nightmare
and not our last good byes
As your last breath drew closers
our hearts were sinking deeper
we were there by your side
holding hands
full of tears
this was our last good nights
then there it was
your final breath of air
I did not want to believe it
this was not fair
we held your hands
and were praying again
we were not ready
we did not want this
we had to understand you were now at rest
up high in the sky shining your best
with no more suffering any more
you were starting the life of the brightest star
we held your hands and squeezed you tight
it was time for us to say good night
All our hearts could do was cry
we will miss you Darko so so much
we got up slowly
still praying it was not true
but one by one we leaned over you
tears streaming down our face
we kissed you and had to walk away
saying our final good nights
was the hardest thing ever in sight
but this was the time to say
Darko our dear son good night
sleep tight we love you
always and forever in our hearts
always and forever we love you so much
sleep tight now our precious son
you will be missed more than ever
your loving warm smile and cheeky little laugh
will remain with us and be a part of our lives
shine brightly every night
good night god bless
your will always be the best

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love mom & dad

 

To My Darling Loveliest Precious Son Darko

I cannot believe it’s been four very long years that I have lived in this crazy world without you.  The only good thing is that I am now four years closer to you. 

I try being happy my Darko but nothing makes me happy am incomplete and my heart is forever broken. I miss seeing your handsome face my son.  I miss talking to you laughing with you. I miss cooking for you my sweet baby and you saying 'that was yum mum'.  I miss your calls from university. I miss you telling me all about your day. I miss you and your brother fighting. I miss seeing the two of you together. I miss going to the shops with you and I miss shopping for you.  I want so badly to hear you laugh want to hear you talk to hear you say ‘Hi Mum” But you are NOT here my Darko and my heart just aches for you.  I just miss everything single thing about you my sweetest babyboy.

I look at your pictures and think sometimes a little too much; and then I think of what you always used to say to me “Mum you think too much” and then you would laugh; and say ‘don’t think too much Mum” and you would laugh again.  You are right my love I do think too much. 

I'd give anything to feel your touch my love, and to hear your beautiful voice my Darko which is music to my ears. Life is so hard without you no one absolutely no one can take your place cause there is no one like you and never will be.

I feel your presence in my room, in your room, in our home, in the car and everywhere I go, and get all sad babyboy. I look at your bed it just breaks my heart that you are not in it. I know you are watching and you want me to be happy so I TRY to be happy and try so hard to carry on but somedays I can do it and others I just can’t hide it from you may do so from others here but I know you see me Son.

I am happy that you don’t have to suffer in this crazy world, it’s just a horrible world really don’t know why we choose to come here. Peace within me is so so hard to find. I feel so lost and alone and just want this nightmare my journey in this world to end but in saying that I also want to be here for Marko and Milla, so am really torn. I am searching and searching for what ………… suppose for God...  but really its you my Darko I am looking for not God… wish so bad that God would have saved you, don’t know why he didn’t and at times I really do hate God and I’m now hoping that somehow God can at least show me that you are well and happy and maybe even help me carry on but who knows ....... suppose God only knows ....... he is a mystery.

I HATE this world without you. I tell myself to be strong and try hard to get by.  Sometimes I think I’m going crazy. I wake up in the morning and look at your photo wishing that you and I were in the same place but I know I have to be patient and wait for my turn.

Please look after your brother and your niece Milla, she is such a cutie, your father who misses you with all his heart, and all your Aunties Uncles Cousins and loving friends. 

I MISS you my Darko. Thanks for choosing me as your Mum my Darko. As sad as I am in loosing you, I still think I am the luckiest Mum in the world for having you, and would not swap it for anything, if it means not to have this heartache and never to have had you in my life, I would choose this same path all over again. 

Missing you and loving you with all my heart and waiting for our one sweet day.

Love always                                                  

Mom

xxxxx