Grief comes in one size, Extra Large.
If we tuck it away in the bottom drawer
where it never sees the light of day
it remains exactly the same.
On the other hand,
if we wear it, feel it, talk about it,
and share it with others,
it is likely that it will become faded, shrunk and worn,
or will simply no longer fit.
When grief has served its purpose
we are able to recognize the many gifts we have gained.
Grief is neither an illness nor a pathological condition
but rather a highly personal
and normal response
to life-changing events,
a natural process
that can lead to healing
and personal growth.
The transition through this difficult time
is the courageous journey.
Grieving allows us to heal
to remember with love rather than pain.
It is a sorting process.
One by one you let go
of the things that are gone
and you mourn for them.
One by one you take hold
of the things that have become a part of who you are
and build again.
A GRIEVING PARENT
A grieving parent is someone who will;
never forget their child no matter how painful memories are.
A grieving parent is someone who;
yearns to be with their dead, but cannot conceive leaving their living ones.
A grieving parent is someone who;
has a part of a heart as the rest is buried with their child.
A grieving parent is someone who; begs for relief from the memories which plague them and then feel guilty when they get it.
A grieving parent is someone who;
pretends to be happy and enjoying life, when they really are dying inside.
A grieving parent is someone who, can cry or laugh at the drop of a hat whenever they remember their beloved child.
A grieving parent is someone who; feels as if they just lost their child yesterday no matter how much time has passed.
A grieving parent is someone who; fears for their remaining family because they cannot bear to have any more losses.
A grieving parent is someone who; sits by their child's gravestone and feels a knife stabbing their heart.
A grieving parent is someone who; ants to help others who have lost loved ones because somehow their loss is theirs all over again.
Please See Me Through My Tears
You asked, "How are you doing?"
As I told you, tears came to my eyes . . .
And you looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me drained away.
"How am I doing?" . . .
I do better when people listen,
though I may shed a tear or two.
These feelings are indescribable.
If you’ve never felt them you cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you.
When you look away,
when I’m ignored,
I am again alone with them.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.
Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They’re nature’s way of helping me to heal . . .
They relieve some of the stress of sadness.
I know you fear that asking
how I’m doing brings me sadness . . .
but it doesn’t work that way.
The memory of my loved one’s absence is with me,
only a thought away.
My tears make my loss more visible to you,
but you did not cause this sadness.
It was already there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless,
not knowing what to do?
You are not helpless,
and you don’t need to do a thing but be here for me.
When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,
you’ve helped me.
You need not speak. Your silence is all I need.
Be patient . . . do not fear.
Listening with your heart to "how am I doing"
validates what I’m going through,
for when the tears can freely come I feel lighter.
Talking to you releases
what I’ve been wanting to say aloud,
clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.
I’ll cry for a minute or two . . . then I’ll wipe my eyes,
and sometimes you’ll even find I’m laughing in a while.
When I hold back my tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots . . .
because I’m trying to protect you from my tears.
Then we both hurt . . .
me, because my feelings are held inside,
causing pain and a shield against our closeness . . .
and you, because suddenly we’re emotionally distant.
So please, take my hand and see me through my tears . . .
then we can be close again
Dearest Mommy
When you wonder the meaning of life and love
Know that I am with you,
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
in the gentle breeze across your cheek.
When you begin to doubt that you shall ever see me again
Quiet your mind and hear me,
I am the whisper of the heavens
Speaking of your love.
When you lose your identity
When you question who you are and where you are going,
Open your heart and see me.
I am the twinkle in the stars smiling down upon you,
Lighting the path for your journey.
When you awaken each morning
Not remembering your dreams
But feeling content and serene
Know that I was with you -
Filling your night with thoughts of me
When you linger in the remnant pain
Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar
Think of me and
Know that I am with you,
Touching you through the shared tears of a gentle friend
Easing the pain
As the sunrise illuminates the desert sky
In the breathtaking glory, awaken your spirit
Think of our time, all too brief, but ever brilliant.
When you were certain of us, together
When you were certain of your destiny
Know that God created that moment in time,
Just for us
Dearest Mommy, I am always with you.
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I Hear Each Tear Fall On Her Face
My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.
She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.
I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.
But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?
I know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.
Oh I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.
Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name!
I Can Tell
I can tell by that look friend, that we need to talk.
So come take my hand and let's go for a walk.
See I'm not like the others -I won't shy away.
Because I want to hear what you've got to say.
Your child has died and you need to be heard.
But they don't want to hear a single word.
They say your child's with God, so be strong.
They say all the "right" things that somehow seem wrong.
I'll walk in your shoes for more than a mile.
I'll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile.
I won't criticize you or judge you or scorn.
I'll just stay and listen 'til night turns to morn.
Yes, the journey is hard and unbearably long.
And I know that you think that you're not quite that strong.
So just take my hand 'cause I've got time to spare.
And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there.
See, I owe a debt you can help me repay.
For not so long ago, I was helped the same way.
And I stumbled and fell through a world so unreal.
So believe when I say that I know how you feel.
I don't look for praise or financial gain.
And I'm sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain.
I'm just a strong shoulder who'll be here 'til the end.
I'll be your Friend !!!
Wings of the Angels
The days pass hard as problems grow and grow You put on your best face, but hopes all fade low Death reaches your way while the dark winds blow But your spirit is strong as friends in heaven know
So tonight sleep in the wings of the angels let them guard your dreams and tomorrow wake with the love of the angels and the world will be better than it seems
As the years pass by and problems come and go hold your hopes and dreams even when others say no Let life's light break dark clouds and make your spirit glow And always remember friends above waiting with a shining halo
And so every night sleep in the wings of the angels let them guard your dreams And each tomorrow wake with the love of the angels and the world will be better than it seems ……
Now That I'm In Heaven
Now that I'm in Heaven
I can fly with the angels
Sing with the birds
Drift with the clouds
Dance in the rain.
Now That I'm in Heaven
I can laugh with the thunder
Soar with the stars
Walk on a rainbow
Shine with the moon.
Now that I'm in Heaven
I can smile with the sun
Talk with the wind
Run with the lightning
And sleep in Immortal arms.
Now that I'm in Heaven
I'd never go back.
This is my place now
Where I belong.
Now that I'm in Heaven.
You'll Be In My Heart
Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight
I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry
For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry
'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here
in my heart always
Always
You're Not Alone
We've never met yet we share a common bond.
Each of us held a child that now is gone.
You're searching for reasons why?
I wish I could tell you how.
But no one has the answers right now.
Knowing far too well just what you are going through.
It wasn't that long ago
Someone was there for me.
If you need me, I'll be there for you.
You are not alone
Through restless hours of sorrow and pain
As tears keep falling like rain.
How could it be so suddenly?
You're not alone
Lord knows you are not to blame
Feeling life just isn't the same.
You're not alone
Hours turn into days.
Days turn into years.
The memory of your precious child never disappears.
Behind each storm there's a rainbow.
Beyond the clouds skies are blue.
You ask me, When I say I do.
If you need me, I'll be there for you.
You're not alone
Through restless hours of sorrow and pain
As tears keep falling like rain….
And though your storm has just begun,
Keep watching for the rainbow……
It will come.
Wings of a Dove
On the wings of a snow white dove ~ He sends His pure sweet love
A sign from above ~ On the wings of a dove
When troubles surround us ~ When evils come
The body grows weak ~ The spirit grows numb
When these things beset us ~ He doesn’t forget us
He sends down His love ~ On the wings of a dove
When Noah had drifted ~ On the flood many days
He searched for land ~ In various ways
Troubles he had some ~ But wasn't forgotten
He sent him His love ~ On the wings of a dove
On the wings of a snow white dove ~ He sent his pure sweet love
A sign from above ~ On the wings of a dove
