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Darko's Life
 
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Erinnerungen
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How We Survive

If we are fortunate,
we are given a warning.

If not,
there is only the sudden horror,
the wrench of being torn apart;
of being reminded
that nothing is permanent,
not even the ones we love,
the ones our lives revolve around.

Life is a fragile affair.
We are all dancing
on the edge of a precipice,
a dizzying cliff so high
we can't see the bottom.

One by one,
we lose those we love most
into the dark ravine.

So we must cherish them
without reservation.
Now.
Today.
This minute.
We will lose them
or they will lose us
someday.
This is certain.
There is no time for bickering.
And their loss
will leave a great pit in our hearts;
a pit we struggle to avoid
during the day
and fall into at night.

Some,
unable to accept this loss,
unable to determine
the worth of life without them,
jump into that black pit
spiritually or physically,
hoping to find them there.

And some survive
the shock,
the denial,
the horror,
the bargaining,
the barren, empty aching,
the unanswered prayers,
the sleepless nights
when their breath is crushed
under the weight of silence
and all that it means.

Somehow, some survive all that and,
like a flower opening after a storm,
they slowly begin to remember
the one they lost
in a different way...

The laughter,
the irrepressible spirit,
the generous heart,
the way their smile made them feel,
the encouragement they gave
even as their own dreams were dying.

And in time, they fill the pit
with other memories
the only memories that really matter.

We will still cry.
We will always cry.
But with loving reflection
more than hopeless longing.

And that is how we survive.
That is how the story should end.
That is how they would want it to be.

mom & dad
 

 

 

The Angelic Butterfly

by Kind Angel

 

I found safety in my cocoon for many years,
sheltered from the hurts life threw my way.
I've been growing,
    one day at a time,
to become the beautiful, angelic creature
I'm meant to be within the haven of the cocoon.

Then one day, with lots of hard work and determination,
the cocoon cracked and the Angelic Butterfly emerged
stronger than ever before.
As the wings slowly unfurl, so many dreams,
long forgotten, are beginning to be realized.

As the comfortable fear melts, and feelings are felt,
the wings are fully expanding to reveal the true beauty.

As the butterfly's beginning to take flight and
soar to new heights once thought impossible.
With the help of God, and the Angels,
the only way for this butterfly to go
    (as all butterflies go)
    is up, up, up!
Look out world,
the Angelic Butterfly has arrived!

 

 

mom
 

 

 

 Butterfly's Wings

 

You let me hear the heartbeat of life,
a sound of your gentle breath.
A life-giving rhythm,
wrapped in the most gentle touch.
A word

from the mouth of a friend.

It takes nothing more
than the wind from a butterfly's wing
to push me over the edge.
There take nothing more
than a quiet love
to show me the land of heaven.

Fly me up,
in your heavenly land,
show me your golden gates
Take me to joy, and happiness,
and find me my quiet place.
Let me sing out my sorrow,
and praise you with joy,
let me feel all I ever have felt.
Take my hand and guide me,
to wonderland,
where your magic can
bring me to life.

 

mom
 

Hello My Yellow Butterfly


Another difficult day in August. A very hard month babe, how we all love and miss you my sweetest, loveliest, most handsome son in the world. To think that two years and 5 months ago our life was so beautiful and normal, and now it can never ever to be that way again. That is what makes it hard to carry on, to know that you are not coming back home and we can never be normal again. Am really trying to keep it all together but am tired son of trying to be strong, to put a smile on my face and carry on like everything is okay, when it isn’t. I don’t want this weight on my shoulder anymore. I never ever expected this, did not expect that pain like this could exist and that we would be tortured to have to live through it. Our life was not supposed to turn out like this, just cannot believe it my sweet baby.


You would have heard my discussions with …….. today. I really don’t know what to make of the whole situation. How is it possible? How one day you are perfectly healthy and the next week they tell me I am going to lose you?


H
ear today from someone’s how they son survived …. Just don’t get it baby. Why does God help some and not others? How does God choose? Does he love some more than others? Why did God not help? Is it because that I was not so so holy did not go to church often, not enough devotion ……….. Why did he take you? Why did God give us so much of hope only to let us down? So so many why’s with no answers and absolutely nobody can help with this paralyzing pain. Wish so bad that I went with you that night. Cannot believe I have survived all this time ……. does one call…… this surviving?


I miss you my most handsome son, my best friend, my life. I miss your sweet smile, your gentleness, your laughter, you talking to me, telling me what to do ……. you walking out of the bathroom after getting dressed and asking ‘do I look o.k. Mum’ ……….. you did not realize it my Darko but you always looked perfect. You are my perfect Son there will never ever be another like you my baby.


I will always treasure the time we had, can’t help to want more but ………….

Hope you are safe and happy. Hope what I am reading and learning is true.  Hoping that I am on the right path. Thank you for your lovely sign last night , you truly are amazing, I really needed that babyson.


Looking forward to the day we can be together again.  In the meantime always remember that  I LOVE YOU with all my heart Darko Durbic. 
Love always
Ma
mom
 

My Mom She Tells A Lot Of Lies
She never did before. From now until the day she dies.
She'll tell a whole lot more.
She used to tell the truth But now it doesn't matter.
I died and went to heaven Her life is all a-shatter.
Ask my Mom how is she. She'll say "Yes I'm fine!"
She wants to beg "Please help me. I can't find that girl of mine!"
Ask my Mom how is she She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth then tell me Why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how is she She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see Nor the strength to yell.
You think you know the feeling But this cannot be.
For even though you loved me You didn't love as much as she.
She will smile and tell you "It's o.k. God has a plan."
But she will turn away and cry 'Cause she just can't understand.
Tell a joke and she will laugh But she is not o.k.
She wants to share the joke with me But it will not be today.
I watch from here in Heaven. Her distress disturbs my peace.
Will someone please take care of her And thus take care of me?
"Some day you will feel better. "Yes I will." she lies.
She knows this will not happen Until the day she dies.
"I was so lucky! I had her all those years!"
(They passed in a minute I shed so many tears.)
Ask my Mom how is she She'll say "Thank you. Good."
She cannot tell you how she feels. Oh how I wish she could.
Ask my Mom how is she "I'm fine I'm well I'm coping."
For God's sake Mom just tell the truth Just say your heart is broken.
Ask my Mom how is she "I'm well I'm good. And you?"
I'll shake my head in Heaven. It simply isn't true.
She'll love me all her life. I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask how is she She'll lie and say she's fine.
Her carnival is over. She's stepped off the carousel.
But to save you feeling badly She'll say "Thanks all is well."
My Mom she's not gone mad yet. But oh so very nearly.
Don't ask my Mom how is she Ask how is she really.
I am here in Heaven. I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen. Hug her hold her near.
On the day we meet again We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say "You're lucky to get in here Mom
With all the lies you told!"

 

 

mom
 

My beautiful boy I miss you so much especially today because its two years today that I lost you the pain is always there a part of me is gone forever. I try to stay strong and know your're in a better place, sometimes I just feel like giving up but I always remember your words"the key to life is to have courage and never lose your faith" the words of my beautiful boy its like somehow you knew and you were leaving us all a message so I repeat those words in my head over and over when I'm feeling weak. I was so proud to call you my son, you bought joy to everyone you knew, you touched everyone heart in such a special way, you had a way of always making everyone feel good about themselves. I miss your unique personality you always had a funny one liner to make everyone laugh especially when we were having a bad day and you are so beautiful your adorable face your gorgeous eyes those long eyelashes your adorable smile your soft skin I always called you my baby boy even when you were twenty because you were my baby and you still are and although I don't understand why God needed to take you to Heaven when you still had so much life to live. I'm sure its because God needed another special angel and you're still doing special things for us from heaven. Maybe you were an angel sent here just for a short time to help us here on earth and that's why you were such a special unique person. I love you my boy so much I think about you the minute I wake up till the time I go to sleep. You will always hold a very special place in my heart  until we meet again may God keep you in the palm of his hand.   Mom

Hey angel 2 years it doesn't even seem real its just way to long that you haven't been with us everybody misses you more than ever I love you

mom
 

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here

He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear
My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons are through
And on the day you come home
they'll be at the gates for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

MOM
 

 

 

My Dearest Darko

 

It`s my selfishness that makes me cry,
I wasn't ready to say Good-Bye.
I wasn't ready to let you go,
I pray you know I love you so.
It`s me not you who suffers here,
I know your life goes on somewhere.
But still I can't stop thinking of
Your smile, your touch, your special love.
I know that you hear what I say,
It`s just done in a different way.
So I want to send you this,
To you the one I love and miss.
All my love with an Angel Kiss.

I Love You Son,
MOM

MOM
 

It's two years Darko and it feels like you've been gone a lifetime. Although time has gone quite fast, it feels like forever since I last heard your voice. 

There's so much to say so little time! Firstly, I miss you...you're a heartbreaker babby. 

Secondly...I love you always and forever.


Just because time is passing, never think your friends will forget about you. We will love and remember you always Darko...you've touched so many of us in such a special way..how could we ever forget.

There isn't a single person who wouldn't give everything they had to bring you back. You are an angel...and we miss you so much.

There's so much I can write..I've been writing and deleting for the past 15 minutes. I don't think there's any other way to express just how much we all want you back.

take care up in heaven Darko
look after us all
we miss and love you

mom & dad
 

 

A SPECIAL ANGEL IN HEAVEN

There is a special Angel in Heaven
that is a part of us.
It is not where we wanted him
but where God wanted him to be. 

He was here but just a moment
like a night time shooting star.
And though he is in Heaven
he isn't very far. 

He touched the heart of many
like only an Angel can do.
I would've held him every minute
if the end I only knew.

So we send this special message
to the Heavens up above.
Please take care of our Angel
and send him all our love. 



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